Commentary by Jerry Melin

At any given moment life is completely senseless. But viewed over a long period, it seems to reveal itself as an organism existing in time, having a purpose, tending in a certain direction.
—Aldous Huxley

Many people get into a state of hopelessness. They believe their life is not worth living, but then neither would any other type of life. Aldous Huxley points out that when we look at something (a life, for instance) from a very limited viewpoint (say that of a particular moment in a life), all we can see is the limitations of that particular moment. If, instead, we look at the whole life, we will see a general trend which shows a purpose and a leading in a particular direction.

Look at your own life, the choices that you have made, the experiences that you have had, the jobs you have held, the things you have done that you are proud of, the things that you have done that you'd like to forget. Look for tendencies, general trends, and find what your purpose is.

Is this difficult for you? Try talking to someone who knows you. Ask them what trends they have seen in your life. Accept what they say without judgment. Look at the tendencies and see if that is the direction you want to go.

If your general tendencies seem to be taking you into a purpose you don't want to live, change! It's as simple as that. Notice I did  not say that it was as easy as that. Easy means not hard, and change is hard! I said simple, which means not complicated. It is as simple as making one little, uncomplicated change at at time, not rushing toward your goal, and "not throwing out the baby with the bath water." You have spent you life becoming you; keep what is best about you and change the rest.

© 1-10-02

Change is not merely necessary to life, it is life.
—Alvin Toffler
[1928- US author], Future Shock, 1990

Alvin Toffler points out that one of the most important concepts for us to hold regarding life is that change is life, or life is change.

If you want your life to be always the same, life will not cooperate with you; life will change. It will constantly give you new choices to make which will lead you to change your life style. If you make the same old choices that you have always made, your life will not change much. (But it will change some.)

If you want your life to be different, then change is the method of making your life different.

Here is a beginning step to take. If you do not take this step, you are choosing what will happen next, nothing much; if you do not take this step, you are choosing to not look at possible changes. However, if you do take this step, you will not dramatically change your life in an instant, change takes time and perseverance.

Look at all the choices life gives you, moment by moment. Make a long list of them. Look at the choices you make and see how they keep you in pretty much the same life. Then look at how making different choices will change your life.

Let's say, for example, that your alarm goes off at its preset, regular time. You automatically reach over and press the snooze button, giving yourself 9 more minutes of sleep. Even though this is an automatic response for you, you have made a choice to respond automatically, rather than thinking about a different response and acting on it. That could make a big difference for you. Try leaving the alarm on until it wakes you enough to get up. See what happens if you get up on the first alarm instead of sleeping through all the snooze alarms. You'll probably surprise your spouse, or your cat, if nothing else.

You may end up feeling more alive, alert, and enthusiastic. You may save your job, or get a promotion. You may not even appreciate what does happen. But something will happen that would not have happened if you had slept a while longer.

Check it out!

© 1-11-02

Although life is change, the changes that occur in your life do not necessarily have to beneficial to you. If you make wise choices you are more likely to change your life for the better. If you leave change up to life itself, any change will do, and you may not like the changes at all.

Be careful to make choices that will lead to your own growth and development.

When I used to watch the television show "MacIver" (did I spell that right?), I used to think how awful it would be to know that no matter what you chose to do, the script writer was going to make sure that you had a major challenge to deal with. Every half hour of MacIver's life, he had to use his knowledge to save someone's life, usually his own included.

Life is not like that. Choices you make can lead to the good you are seeking without going through major challenges.

Karen Clark is right. Life is change and whether you grow through your life experiences or just go through them is up to you.

© 1-12-02

Gilda Radner uses the word "delicious" in describing ambiguity. Why delicious? Most people think of ambiguity as something undesirable, confusing, troublesome. Gilda says that it can be delicious, tasty, good.

Can you achieve the attitude that change or ambiguity is delicious? If you can, you will find enjoyment in the adventure that life becomes. It can then be somewhat like going to a movie. You know the general plot of all movies, somebody faces a problem and goes through it some way or another. The interest in the movie is not in seeing the same old problems that people face in their daily lives, it is in the interesting ways that people choose to deal with their problems. 

So even though you don't know what life is going to present to you day by day, you have the delicious ambiguity, the uncertainty of how you would face certain problems that might come your way.

Here's an attitude to try on (If it works for you, fine. If not, there are many other possible positive attitudes that you can try):

 Bring on life, I'll face it as it comes, and I'll deal with it as it comes, not knowing exactly how I'll deal with it, but certain that I will. 

© 1-14-02

Change occurs all the time. Our lives change all the time, even when we try to keep them the same. After all, change can be frightening. There is comfort in the known, the familiar, the common.

Changes occur in our lives because of our choices. We can decide to choose what will be helpful to us in developing our lives. The most important area of choice, as pointed out by Marcus Aurelius, is our thoughts. "Our life is what our thoughts make it."

Philosophers and sages in all times have recognized the Truth that everything begins with thought. If we control our thoughts, our lives are somewhat under our control.

Too often we get involved with blame or fault-finding, and when we do we are trying to give away our responsibility for our lives. Forget blame, forget finding fault. As Henry Ford once exhorted, "Don't find fault. Find a remedy."

If you want to change your life for the better, you will not be able to do it as long as someone else is to blame or at fault where your life's problems are concerned. Take responsibility. Take charge. Control your thoughts in order to control the changes of you life.

© 1-15-02

 In this poetic form Madeleine Bridges gives us an answer to the question, "If I can control my life by controlling my thoughts, what kind of thoughts should I entertain in my mind"?

Give to the world the best thoughts you have and the best life will come back to you, as though your thoughts bounced back from a mirror.

Many people find it hard to believe they can control their lives by controlling thoughts. I have a friend who says, "I tried that positive thinking once. It didn't work." And my answer to him is, you've tried negative thinking a lot and it works just fine for you. All of your negative thinking has created a pretty miserable life for you. The process works, just use the positive side of it for a change.

If you are like my friend, don't give positive thinking a long enough trial to see if it has any merit; then you'll deserve what life gives you back. Don't come whining to me. 

Actually, I am not the kind of a person who treats people as machines. I realize that it takes a lot to change, and I have as much patience as anyone can have. I'll coax and coddle people along, I'll help all I can.

Just give it a try.

© 1-16-02

Life is what you make it: If you snooze, you lose; and if you snore, you lose more.
—Phyllis George
[1949- sportscaster], The Washington Post

Life is what you make it. Phyllis George reminds us that if you sleep through your opportunities to make choices, you will miss out on what you could be making of your life. 

Open your eyes. Look at life as one great opportunity to be and do something that you consider worth being and doing. The whole of the universe is on your side when you take control. Albert Einstein said, "The universe is benevolent to mankind." (Or something to that effect; I couldn't find the exact quote right now. Don't you just hate it when that happens?)

© 1-17-02